Weed Puns – Puns is a sort of word play which displays two or more than two meanings of a same word or words with different meanings but sounds same. It is also known as paronomasia, basically used in Literature but that doesn’t mean we can’t use puns for fun here is a list of weed puns which can help you lighten your mood and make you laugh.
Weed Puns
Contents
1. If you died from an overdose of weed, what would happen?
You would be grave stoned?
2. We all have that one friend who always tries to justify vaporing weed
I’m not stoned. I’m herbally medicated
source of the picture: Pinterest
3. Is it possible getting high without smoking weed?
Cops set the illegal weed farm on fire…
source of the picture: Pinterest
4. A female colleague in my office asked if I would smoke some weed with her.
It turned her down by saying I can’t deal with high maintenance women.
5. It was a surprise to know that I have a drug attic in my house.
Caught my husband smoking weed upstairs….
6. Laughter is the best medicine
Marijuana makes you laugh
Does that mean Marijuana is the best medicine?
7. Sir we have seized 3 tons of marijuana
Did you say one ton of marijuana?
Yes sir 8 grams of marijuana..
source of the picture: Pinterest
8. If 2020 was a weed
Source of the picture: Twitter
9. Bestie: what is my importance in your life?
Me: you are my best “BUD”
source of the picture: Instagram
10. Me: Mom, I think we should give a return gift to Santa Claus this year.
source of the picture: Pinterest
11. Me at interview
Interviewer: why should we consider you for this job?
Me: my goals are very high…
source of the picture: Pinterest
12. She got on knees looked into my eyes and said will you smoke with me?
Yes, yes, yes lmao I’ll smoke with you diamond Shaffer.
Meanwhile she: I’m honoured to turn you into a stoner.
source of the picture: Pinterest
13. Me: oh Lord! Please give me a sign how to deal with my life problems; anxiety, depression, stress, loneliness, anger issues etc.
source of the picture: Pinterest
14. Why I didn’t text you back?
I’m busy ~ Nah!
I’m ignoring you ~ Nah!!
I’m high and forgot to click the send option~ well yeah!
15. Girlfriend: (while breaking up with me) no one can love you the way I loved you.
Me: well you don’t need to worry about that.
The look my weed gives me soon as I get home from work……
source of the text : Pinterest
16. When your homie is rolling a blunt and you throw some extra bud in to make it extra fat….
I’m pro you bitch.
Source of the picture: Pinterest
17. Why don’t you get off your high horse!
source of the picture: Pinterest
18. Whoever say money can’t buy happiness, take their money and roll a joint, that’s pretty close to happiness
source of the picture: Pinterest
19. Ever wondered what music notes talk about each other
Low notes talking about high one: he won’t shut up when he’s high
source of the picture: Pinterest
20. Weed is my home girl.
source of the picture: Pinterest
21. Weed lover girl: his proposal should be different, you know which I couldn’t refuse.
Boy: proposed her with this.
source of the picture: Instagram
22. She: why do you think I’ll marry you?
He: I have a pleasure room.
source of the picture: Pinterest
We like both of them baked.
source of the picture: Pinterest
24. Is it just me or am I a giant nug of weed?
Dude! You are both.
I’m made of marijuana
source of the picture: Pinterest
25. My friend: Excessive Weed can cause memory loss.
Me: what memory loss, I haven’t faced any such thing by now.
Le me very next day
source of the picture: Pinterest
26. When you and your bestie both are weed lovers and weird af.
Do you think we smell like weed’
Me: Naw, we are straight.
source of the picture: Pinterest
27. Why do we call it the Roach clip?
Because we can’t call it the pot-holder
28. Chris: Dude don’t you feel lonely?
Me: No, I have someone who makes me feel like I’m in heaven.
Chris: That’s great. Who’s that?
Me:
source of the picture: Pinterest
29. My friend: wanna have a turkey?
Me: No, I’m Vegan.
My friend:. Oh! I have a vegan turkey for you..
Me: it’s not even possible.
source of the picture: Pinterest
Me: why?
Friend: because once I ordered a giant ice cream sandwich when I was high, but it turned out to be a bed not the $150 ice cream sandwich I wanted.
Source of picture: Pinterest
31. Meanwhile waitress : wanna smoke weed with me?
Waitress was high on workplace, and she was trying to act normal.
Source of picture: Pinterest
32. I don’t always roll a joint, but when I do, it’s my ankle.
33. Yes, weed is illegal in India
34. I was watching out the plants after sprinkling weed killer on them, now after an hour they don’t seem interesting any more.
35. It was a surprise to know that I have a drug attic in my house.
Caught my nephew smoking weed upstairs….
36. Someone stole my weed…
And it’s a very dis-jointed feeling.
37. Which things can make two wrong the right?
A joint.
38. Grandma took my weed so I took her wheelchair.
Neither of us is rolling.
39. What would happen if you will try to smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?
You will get stoned.
40. Tell me a good way to get baked.
Smoking weed in an oven….
41. What is a cannabusinessman?
A weed dealer in the suit
42. Did you know that instant pots can grow weed faster?
43. What is a weedzard?
A wizard on weed.
44. Who is a Drug Abuser?
A stoner who is spilling his weeds on the floor is a drug abuser.
45. Laughter is the best medicine
Marijuana makes you laugh
Does that mean Marijuana is the best medicine?
46. My cows loved to eat weeds.
The stakes were too high.
47. When you wake and bake next to your friend Melissa.
48. I bought a new cutting hedge technology weed -whacker today…..
49. What is malnutrition?
One blunt between five stoners.
50. Me and my friend were too high last night that we looked for him together.
51. What if weed was at restaurants like alcohols?
Would it be like; should we order a joint for the table?
52. What is the high time?
When time smoked weed that is high time.
53. What is a wake and bake?
A Stoners funeral can be called a wake and bake.
54. When tall people smoke weed they get high but what about short people do they get high or medium?
55. It’s a good way to weed out Candidates.
56. You are addicted that’s ok but you need to know that where you should draw the line.
Yes I know, when it comes to cocaine I draw the line.
57. What happens when time smokes weed?
It becomes high time
58. What French people smoke weed, or oui’d?
59. When your homie is rolling a blunt and you throw some extra bud in to make it extra fat….
I’m pro you bitch.
60. What would have happened if smoking weed was illegal in the 8th century
you could get stoned for getting stoned
61. Why do students go to High school?
To learn how to smoke?
62. People say weed causes memory loss
That’s nonsense,
I know what next thing they’ll say; weed causes memory loss, come on tell me something new.
63. What happens when you eat marijuana? You get a pot belly
64. If you died from an overdose of weed, what would happen?
You would be gravestoned?
65. If the whole world would smoke weed at the same time there would be world peace for a few hours.
66. When there is only one joint between three stoners what would you call it?
It should called malnutrition.
67. I caught my cows eating weeds
The milk was high
68. I always don’t joint a role but when I do it’s my shoulder.
69. In 18th century people used to gotstoned for smoking weeds
70. What is the right way to count weed ?
Round Up method
71. Cops can’t arrest you for smoking weed on highway.
72. I like to fly high that’s why I smoke weed before showing up at the airport.
73. What is a highlighter?
A marker that smokes weed
74. What is potpourri?
When you mix a bunch of weed together, that is potpourri.
75. Why you named your cat Dan?
Because she likes weed- like flowers (Dan de lion).
76. What is moonchies?
When you smoke weed in space instead munchies you get moonchies
77. Why did the cows keep returning to the weed field?
It was the pot calling the cattle back.
78. How does stoners change a light bulb?
Nah! They don’t change the light bulb, they have lighters.
79. Have you ever been twice as high?
Yes , when I smoke weed in plane.
80. Me: Dr. Kalen I’m addicted to weed! What should I do?
Dr. Kalen: Sea Kelp!
81. I always don’t joint a role but when I do it’s my ankle.
82. What is the right way to propose a stoner /weed lover girl?
Marriageyouwanna??
83. What happens when time smokes weed?
It becomes high time.
84. The bus driver turned down to music, so that he could see better
It’s giving me anxiety…….
85. Did you ever get high without even smoking weed?
Yes, when farmers attempted giving weeds to cows, in 1970s to improve milk production. The coffee was too high.
86. When tall people smoke weed they get high but what about short people do they get high or medium?
87. Ever wondered why statues don’t vapor weed?
“Because they are stoned all the time”
88. Do you know, how to count the weeds in the yard?
Yes, use round Up method.
89. What is a weedzard?
A wizard on weed.
90. How can we enjoy a high koala tea?
Made tea from a marsupial that smoked a bunch of weed
91. What is a baked potato?
‘A true stoner’ a potato that smoke weed is baked potato.
92. What should you do if a piece of sea weed wrapped around your leg while swimming?
Sea kelp.
93. I bought a new weed-whacker today…
It’s cutting hedge technology…
94. Do you know you can go to jail for weeds..
What! I didn’t know that I can sell weeds in the jail…
95. You are addicted that’s ok but you need to know that where you should draw the line.
Yes I know, when it comes to cocaine I draw the line.
96. Beautiful women>
Beautiful women that smoke weed >>
Beautiful women that smoke weed who can roll>>>
Beautiful women that smoke weed who can roll with long nails>>>>
97. What if weed was at restaurants like alcohols?
Would it be like; should we order a joint for the table?
98. How can one get high even without smoking weed?
Eat a chicken who smoked a bunch of weed…
99. One day a sea urchin asked a barnacle when he was so tasty?
The barnacle replied, “I Can’t Kelp it!”
100. What would you address your bro if he is high?
Source of Picture: Instagram
101. When you bake yourself but forgot to bake the pizza
102. What is the right way to count weeds?
Round Up
103. What would happen if you will try to smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?
You will get stoned.
104. Tell me a good way to get baked.
Smoking weed in an oven….
105. Policeman caught a person with weed in his pocket.
Police: you are going to jail for all the Marijuana I found in your pocket
Man: these weeds are not mine it keeps appearing itself whenever I flush it.
Police: why do I believe you?
Man: I can prove you.
Police: oh really if you try it, I will let you go.
The guy went to the washroom with the policeman and flushed the marriage Varna he had in his pocket.
Police: but why it didn’t appeared in your pocket?
Man :what didn’t appeared in my pocket.
Police: Marijuana….
Man: What Marijuana???
106. Do you know how fishes gets don’t even when they don’t have weeds?
No you are wrong they have seaweeds
107. I wanted to get really high
So I smoked this
108. Wanna smoke Alpaca bowl?
Source of picture: Instagram
109. Friend: I don’t need anyone …..
all I weed is you…
Source of picture Instagram
110. Did you know that a stoner with two splits called double jointed?
111. How to know if a person is true pothead or not?
If S/he cleans his/her bongs More often than the dishes.
112. My mom asked me “how high are you”?
I said no mom it’s “Hi, how are you,”
113. Why it is called the Roach clip?
Because we can’t call it the pot-holder
114. What happens when you eat marijuana? You get a pot belly.
115. What is malnutrition?
Only one blunt between five stoners?
116. How does stoners change a light bulb?
Nah! They don’t change the light bulb, they have lighters.
117. The bus driver turned down to music, so that he could see better
It’s giving me anxiety…….
118. Do you even know that you can go to jail for weed.” “Wait, I didn’t know that jail sells weed?!”
119. What is a cannabusinessman?
A weed dealer in the suit
120. What French people smoke weed, or oui’d?
121. Who is a Drug Abuser?
A stoner who is spilling his weeds on the floor is a drug abuser.
122. What would happen if you smoke weed in Saudi Arabia?
You would get stoned for getting stoned.
123. What is the joint family?
The family who grows Marijuana in their backyard.
124. What is the balanced diet?
A joint in both hands
125. What is high on pot?
A man who stands on toilet is high on pot.
126. What is a wake and bake?
A Stoners funeral can be called a wake and bake.
127. What is the right way to propose a stoner /weed lover girl?
Marriage you wanna??
128. Which things can make two wrong the right?
A joint.
129. What do you call a friend with weed?
A friend with weed is a friend indeed.
and that’s it my friend for Weed Puns! We regularly update this page with new ones. Do check it out later.
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